SAFER HOME

Although you can’t control your abuser’s behaviour, you can choose to be pro-active in seeking to protect yourself and your children.

Here are ways to increase your safety at home, whether or not you live with the abuser.

If you live with the abuser

Get your Emergency Escape Plan in order and review it often.

Create a Child Safety Plan for and with each of your children.

Plan your emergency exits, teach them to your children and know them well.

Create and keep handy a telephone list with numbers of local police, closest shelter or our Crisis Line if you live in our area, family members, counsellors, friends and children’s friends.

Make arrangements with friends or family so you can stay with them if necessary.

Try to predict the next likely violent episode and make plans for the children to be sent to friends, family etc. (Try to anticipate his "cycle," e.g. when there is a full moon.)

Teach your children to let you know when someone is at the door, before answering the door.

Teach your children how to use the telephone (and your cell phone, if you have one) to contact police and the fire department.

Create a code word with your children and/or friends so you can use it to alert them to call for help.

Teach your children how to make a collect call to you and to a special friend if your abuser takes the children.

If you don’t live with the abuser

Get your Emergency Escape Plan in order and review it often.

Create a Child Safety Plan for and with each of your children.

Plan your emergency exits, teach them to your children and know them well.

Create and keep handy a telephone list with numbers of local police, closest shelter or our Crisis Line if you live in our area, family members, counselors, friends and children’s friends.

Change the locks on the doors and windows. Install a peephole in the door. Change the locks on your garage and mailbox.

Teach your children to tell you if someone is at the door and not to answer the door themselves.

Keep your restraining order near you at all times.

Make sure that school and daycare contacts and police have a copy of all court orders, including restraining orders, custody and access orders, as well as a picture of the abusive partner.

If possible, try to predict the next likely violent incident and be prepared.

If you have call display on your phone, be careful about who can access the stored numbers (e.g., last number dialed).

Have your telephone number unpublished because it’s harder for someone to track you that way. Block your number when calling out.

Consider getting a cell phone and preprogram numbers of people to call.

Consider moving your furniture around differently as this is something your partner may not anticipate, causing him or her to bump into it and give you warning that he or she is in the house. Also put your kitchen utensils and knife block in the cupboards so they are not as accessible.

If you live in an apartment, be alert when you get off the elevator. Look in mirrors and be aware of doorways in hallways. Speak to security or make an anonymous call requesting safety in your building.

Purchase rope ladders to be used for escape from upper floors.

If you have a balcony, consider putting wire around it.

Replace wooden doors with steel/metal doors if possible.

Install smoke detectors and fire extinguishers for each floor.

Consider the advantages of getting a guard dog.

Install an outside lighting system that lights up when a person is coming close to your house.

Do whatever you can to boost home security (e.g., additional locks, window bars, poles to wedge against doors, an electronic security system)