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IS THIS ABUSE?
As destructive as it is, abuse has a way of sneaking up on you. It generally occurs in cycles, with violent episodes sandwiched in between calmer times in the relationship.
Because abuse happens in cycles, it’s easy to deny. You may not want to admit, even to yourself, that you’re being abused. Also, you may not want to see your partner as an abuser. He may be the father of your children and you may still love him in spite of it all.
Here is an abuse checklist. If you answer yes to even one of these questions, you are being abused.
- In your relationship, have you ever experienced put-downs or threats?
- Have you suffered physical violence such as hitting, pushing, hair pulling or forced sexual contact?
- Does your partner try to isolate you from family and friends?
- Is your partner bossy; does he try to control whom you see and what you do?
- Does your partner have a bad temper and a history of violence? Does he brag about mistreating others?
- Does your partner blame you when he treats you badly?
- Does he believe that men should be in control of his partner and family?
- Does your partner treat you "like dirt" or humiliate you in front of friends and family?
- Are you afraid of your partner? Do you worry about how he will react to what you say or do?
- Have your friends or family warned you about him or told you they were worried about your safety?
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