FAQs
Part of our mandate at Women’s Place of South Niagara Inc. is to raise awareness about abuse. This list of frequently asked questions may help you to educate yourself and others.
Why do women stay in abusive relationships?
Family members, court systems and the public at large often ask this question, finding it difficult to understand why a woman would stay with her abuser. Lack of understanding can lead to judgment, impatient attitudes, which add to the hurt that the abused women already suffers because of the agonizing decision they have to make of whether to leave or not.
If you’re an abused woman, you may be facing this decision right now. In the throes of trying to decide whether to leave or stay, the pain and fear can be overwhelming. You’re scared to leave and scared to stay.
According to the Ontario Women’s Justice Network, women stay with abusive partners for many reasons, among them:
- Fear of retaliation from the abuser
- Fear of losing the children
- Economic reality
- Family, religious or social pressure to stay
- Wanting to help the partner “get better”
- Denial (“It’s not that bad;” “It only happens occasionally”)
- Love that survives the abusive episodes
- Feelings of guilt (“If I were a better wife, he wouldn’t treat me like this”)
- Not wanting to admit to being abused
- Fear of being alone and/or not part of a couple
- Hopelessness about the possibility of change
What is stopping you from reaching out for help and breaking free?
Even if you aren’t ready to leave the abusive relationship, remember you can still access our free, confidential services. Call our Crisis Line at any time and a caring, experienced counselor will listen to you and discuss the concerns you have.
Why don’t more women report cases of assault to the police?
Only in 25 percent of cases do women call the police. What about the other 75 percent? Women may fear retaliation by the abuser, they may lack knowledge about their legal rights, they may find the criminal justice system intimidating or worry that the police and courts won’t adequately protect them. They might not want to get the abuser into trouble, or simply they might feel they won’t be believed.
What can I do to help someone who is being abused?
- Encourage her to contact Women’s Place of South Niagara Inc. (or her local shelter if she’s not in our area), where experienced, empathetic counsellors will provide confidential information and advice and help her to develop a safety plan.
- Let her know you are there to help. Listen to her without being critical or judgmental.
- Assure her that she’s not to blame for the abuse and that she’s not alone.
- Help her provide for any immediate medical and personal needs and make sure that she and her children are safe.
- Gather and pass on information about relevant community programs and assistance: shelters, sexual assault centres, legal aid, financial assistance, etc.
- Offer to play a role in her safety plan; this might involve providing emergency shelter and/or transportation; and safeguarding pre-packed luggage, documents and/or money that would be required in an emergency.
- Give her time to make her own decisions and respect her confidentiality.
Here are additional FAQs:
How do I know if I’m being abused? click here
See also IS THIS ABUSE? on this website.
Are there different kinds of women abuse? click here
See also TYPES OF ABUSE on this website.
How can abuse affect me? click here
Is it safe for me to be online? click here
How does violence affect children? click here
How can a shelter help? click here
What is my safety plan? click here
See also the SAFETY PLAN section of this website.
What can I do to stay safe at work? click here |
