CYCLE OF ABUSE

Abuse generally happens in cycles consisting of three stages:

1) Tension-Building Stage
2) Violent Episode
3) Honeymoon Stage

Maybe right now, as an abused woman, you’re in the Tension-Building Stage. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells around your partner, who hasn’t been violent for a while but you can sense it coming on. The atmosphere is getting more and more oppressive and the insults are back, attacking your self-esteem. You try doing all the “right” things to keep him happy but the tension just keeps getting worse.

The Tension-Building Stage usually leads to a Violent Episode, which can range from severe verbal/emotional abuse to physical/sexual assault. The result is emotional and/or physical injury or even death. If you survive a violent episode, it can haunt you for years into the future. Yet even after more than one violent episode with the same partner, you may still try to endure, hoping things will get better soon.

Sooner or later, the Honeymoon Stage is in fact likely to follow. The abuser is now extra attentive and charming, just like the person you fell in love with. He’s sorry for what he’s done and promises to change. His promises sound convincing and you may want to believe him. You float along like this for a while, enjoying the relative tranquility, until one day the confidence-draining, gut-churning anxiety of the Tension-Building Stage returns.

This is the vicious cycle of abuse. This is the nature of the trap that imprisons you.

Unless some form of intervention takes place, the cycle usually repeats itself again and again. The violent episodes get worse and happen more often.

You need to be aware of what’s happening. You need to know the truth before you can find the courage and the will to reach out for help and break free.